Revisiting myself

If I could go back in time to revisit any one moment in my past which would I choose?  That’s not easy to decide personally maybe when we were planning our wedding so I could tell myself to choose a different minister or maybe to the night I had my son so I could tell myself not to agree to the pitocin that led to the emergency c-section.

Professionally that’s even harder.  The first thing that comes to mind was when I was student teaching and totally screwed up the math lesson but I learned from that experience.  Maybe the day I started my Master’s classes to tell myself to stay in the Curriculum and Instruction program rather than the Administration program except again I learned a lot and met some great people in the admin program.

The more I think about it the more I realize I think there may not be anything I’d change because everything I’ve done so far has made me who I am.  There are things I regret, mistakes I’ve made but they are a part of me.

I read a book several years ago (and I’m totally blanking on the title) about three women who had come to a crossroads point in their lives, they had met on their shared birthday years ago and agreed to meet up at this point.  They come across a very strange woman who gives them the option to relive two weeks of their lives at the end they can choose to keep the changes and remember their old life, keep the changes and forget their old life, or keep their old life and remember what the changed time was.  As a mom I was not surprised at all that the one mother of the trio asked to keep her old life but remember what had changed on those two weeks.  I simply can not imagine my life without my son so I wouldn’t make any change that might effect that part of my life.

Ah I just had a moment of clarity, there is a change I would make professionally.  I would go back to the one year I taught fifth grade and using what I know now I think I could have a much better year.  That was by far my toughest year of teaching.  I struggled and just felt really uncertain, my classroom management skills really well sucked if I’m being totally honest.  I think I could go back and redo that year and make it a much more positive experience for myself and my students.  The only thing is I wouldn’t want to change the years of my career that followed.

Well this has been an interesting look back.

Written for the DP Daily Prompt If I could turn back time

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