You might be in education if…

I found this gem in my boxes of teacher stuff, some good funnies here and some that come across as a bit mean spirited:

 

  1. You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
  2. You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
  3. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 7:30 to 2:15 and you have summers free.”
  4. You believe chocolate is a food group.
  5. You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. (I hear this is the same for those in the medical and first responder fields)
  6. You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on the report card.
  7. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.” (OH NO NO NO NO NO NEVER SAY THIS EVER!!!!)
  8. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child you do not know and correct their behavior.
  9. You have no time for a life from August to June.
  10. Making all A’s on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.
  11. When you mention “vegetables” you’re not talking about a food group.
  12. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
  13. You wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.
  14. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the “lounge”.
  15. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
  16. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or homeschooling.
  17. You believe no one should be able to reproduce without having taught in an elementary school for at least 5 years.  (Any age level would work, including day cares!)
  18. You’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.
  19. You can’t have children because there’s no name you could give your child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered. (True story I had a girl’s name picked out for years that I LOVED, I was working day care pregnant with my first and that name quickly went off my list because a child in my room had that name and she was something else)
  20. You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.
  21. You know you’re in for a MAJOR project when a parent says “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss.  I think it would be such fun.”
  22. You smile weakly, and want to choke a person when he/she says, “Oh you must have such FUN every day.  This must be like playtime for you.” (While not playtime the vast majority of my days are FUN)
  23. Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.
  24. Meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?” (More times than I can count!)
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