Classroom Jokes

Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Tanner said to the little boy while holding out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his reply.
“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Tanner, I swear,” insisted the boy. “I had to force him, but he ate it!”

Said a boy to his teacher one day,
“Wright has not written ‘rite’ right, I say.”
So the teacher replied,
As the error she eyed,
“Right. Wright, write ‘rite’ right, right away.

Jane came home from her first day at school. When asked about school she explained to her mother, “It was all right except for some lady named Teacher who kept spoiling our fun.”

Mrs. Jones brought her son Elmer to register at the school. However, little Elmer was only five and the required age was six.
“I think,” said Mrs. Jones to the principal, “that he can pass the six-year-old test.”
“We’ll see,” replied the principal . “Elmer, say the first thing that comes to your mind.”
“Do you want logically connected sentences,” said Elmer, “or a spontaneous sampling of random words?”

Rupert: (after the teacher handed out the report cards): I don’t want to scare you, teacher, but my father said that if I didn’t bring home a good report card, somebody was going to get spanked!

Second Grade Student: I really liked being in your class Miss Jones. I’m sorry you’re not smart enough to teach us next year.

Drew: Want to hear the story about the broken pencil?
Lew: No thanks, I’m sure it has no point.

How do you begin a story about . .
Palm trees? Once a palm a time . . . .
Chess? Once a pawn a time . . . .
A little lake? Once a pond a time . . . .
A joke? Once a pun a time . . .

Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
Junior : You said it was my lunch money.

Allen: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus has. I said three.
Father: Three? How on earth did you win the prize?
Allen: I came the closest.

Son: Dad, I’m tired of doing homework.
Father: Now son, hard work never killed anyone yet.
Son: I know, Dad, but I don’t want to be the first.

Anne: Great news! The teacher said we’d have a test today rain or shine!
Jan: What’s so great about that?
Anne: It’s snowing!

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Son: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

Daughter: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Daughter: Your name on this report card.

Boy: Isn’t the principal a dummy!
Girl: Say, do you know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I’m the principal’s daughter.
Boy: And do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Thank goodness!

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