Reviewing assessments

Getting back to questions from the January blog challenge.  Here’s #8 Describe the process you use in your reflection when studying assessment results. Where does your energy and focus lean?

In my current position I don’t actually give any assessments but in my last classroom position after giving an assessment I would look at the results specifically to see if there were questions that a majority of students missed or did poorly on so that I could examine was this a poorly written question, did students not understand what I was asking, or did I not actually provide them with the instruction needed to answer the question.  I also tried to look at the questions and see if they led the students to using real world critical thinking skills.

 

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Teacher ABCs

A is for the abundance of questions and yearning

B is for both inward and outward beauty

C is for creative learning

D is for doing it over ’til it’s right

E is for the effort you pour into preparing each night

F is for watching how far we can go

G is for seeing us blossom and grow

H is for reaching for that star so high

I is for imagination, for the courage to try

J is for joy in touching a child’s life in a meaningful way

K is for kindness you bring children each day

L is for the love of teaching we see

M is for the “me” you’re helping me to be

N is for never being too busy to pray

O is for overcoming our desire to stray

P is for positives you bring to each

Q is for the quintessential way you teach

R is for your willingness to give us a reason

S is for teaching us to appreciate each season

T is for touching those that sit before you

U is for understanding our fear of all that is so new

V is for the vitality you show each day

W is for every wonderment you bring our way

X is for the extra special teacher we see

Y is for our sense of yearning to be, and

Z is for the big “yahoo” sent from your very own “zoo”!

~Author Unknown

Real Teachers (a longer version)

Back on December 8, I posted Real Teachers, some funnies I’d found on an old MNEA newsletter.  Well I found an even longer version in my online drive recently, here it is.

Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher’s lounge.
Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of six weeks have even been seen grading in church.
Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a school day.
Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.
Real teachers can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.
Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.
Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning around.
Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their bladders and kidneys.
Real teachers wear glasses from trying to read the fine print in the teacher’s manuals.
Real teachers have been timed gulping down lunch in 2 minutes 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.
Real teachers can predict exactly which parents show up at open house.
Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a Valentine.
Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Real teachers know that the best end of semester lesson plans come from Blockbuster.
Real teachers know the shortest distance and length of travel time to the front office.
Real teachers can “sense” gum.
Real teachers know the difference between what ought to be graded, what should be graded, and what should never see the light of day.
Real teachers know that the first class disruption they see is probably the second one that occurred.
Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.
Real teachers have never heard an original excuse.
Real teachers know better than to plan discussions or cooperative groups for last period during an observation.
Real teachers know that secretaries and custodians really run the school.
Real teachers know that rules do not apply to them.
Real teachers give themselves away in public because of the dry erase pen marker smudges all over their hands.
Real teachers know that dogs are carnivores and not “homework paperavores.”
Real teachers know that happy hour does indeed begin on Friday afternoons.
Real teachers do not take “no” for an answer unless it is written in a complete sentence.
Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.
Real teachers never take grades after Wednesday of the last week of the six weeks.
Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.
Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil at Sam’s.
Real teachers have the assistant principals’ and counselors’ home phone numbers.
Real teachers know the value of a good education and are appalled upon seeing their paychecks.
AND FINALLY…….
Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely nonexpendable.

~author unknown

More Classroom Jokes

Teacher: Your spelling is much better Ronald. Only five mistakes that time.
Student: Thank you Miss Smith.
Teacher: Now let’s go on to the next word.

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
Student: The river or the state Miss?

Teacher: If “can’t” is short for “cannot,” what is “don’t” short for?
Student: Doughnut.

Teacher: Are you good in math?
Student: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Student: Yes, I’m no good in math.

Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Student: I get up early.

Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Teacher: Seymour, you copied from Susan’s test didn’t you?
Student: How did you find out?
Teacher: Susan’s test answer says, “I don’t know,” and yours says, “Me neither.”

Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?
Student: Seven.
Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?
Student: Nine.
Teacher: That’s impossible.
Student: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: George!

Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!

Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I’m Billy Anderson.

Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Student: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to keep yours.

Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you are.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.
John: I hope you didn’t either.

Student: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.
Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.

Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.

Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
Student: You can’t fool me, Teacher… snakes don’t have feet.

Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Student: Don’t bite any.

Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Ellen: I is…
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am.”
Ellen: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Teacher: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
Student: A new bike.

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Student: One dollar.

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Class Clown: Big hands!

Excuses actually received by teachers (funny)

Dear School: Please accuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

May could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school becuz he has an acre in his back.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Lillian was absent from school because she had a going over.

My son has been under the doctor’s care and should not take fizacal ed. Please execute him.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Joyce from PE for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sore trout.

Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Stanley had to miss some school. He had an attack of whooping cranes in his chest.

Lynda was away as she had stripe infection.

Please excuse Jane. She had an absent tooth. Wednesday she will have an appointment with the orinthologist.

Dear Teacher: Please excuse my daughter’s absence for the past week, as she had a case of the fool.

~from San Francisco Teacher, 1978