Real Teachers (some funnies)

I was recently going through boxes of my teaching stuff and came across some funnies from my early days of teaching.  This first one was on the back of my district’s NEA newsletter.  I wish I knew the original author of these so I could give them credit.  I noticed rereading them though that not all of them are as funny as I once thought they were.  You’ll have to tell me what you think.

Real Teachers

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have been seen grading in church.

Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.

Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

Real teachers can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.  (A bit out of date in most places but I’d add one that used to apply to me: Real teachers have near permanent bright spots in their vision from writing on the overhead projector.)

Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their kidneys and bladders.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds.  Master teachers can eat faster than that.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.

Real teachers never teach the conjugation of lie and lay to eighth graders. (Having taught 8th grade Com Arts for 7 years I can say this is absolutely true)

Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.

Real teachers can “sense” gum.

Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what should probably never again see the light of day.

Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.  (along with Kleenex, Germ X, and Clorox wipes 🙂

Real teachers will eat anything that is put in the workroom/teacher’s lounge.

Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school. (and often classroom assistants)

Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and are absolutely nonexpendable.

A Teacher’s Serenity Prayer

I am a Christian and while I try to show that by my actions, and don’t always succeed, I don’t talk about it at school.  However when I begin to get frustrated with students, when I reach a point I feel I’m going to yell I often silently recite the Serenity prayer to myself so when I found this version specially written for teachers I knew I had to post it here.  It comes from Ashley at The Teacher’s Treasure Chest.

bookmarks_teachers_serenity_pocket_prayer_card

 

bit by the organizing bug

Ugh not sure how it happened but I got bit by the organizing bug at school today.  I’ve been through all of my files to clean them out, amazed at how much needed to go.  My recycling bin is full now and it just went out yesterday morning, oops, oh well at least I can find thing again.  And now I’m working on whiting out the labels on a ridiculous number of file folders that I emptied, some I’ve been using for years and years.  All I can say is TG for white out tape, I love the ezcorrect white out tape dispensers, making this job so much easier.  Now to figure out what to fill all these folder with LOL, it’ll happen I know it will.  Have to resist the urge!

Caring for every child

The following is a quote I have on my Inspiration Wall from Lillian Katz:

“Each of us must come to care about everyone else’s children. We must recognize that the welfare of our children is intimately linked to the welfare of all other people’s children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, some else’s child will perform it. If one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else’s child will be responsible for the violent act. The good life for our own children can be secured only if a good secured for all other people’s children.” Lilian Katz

It’s a great reminder to me that every child does need love, those that are often the hardest to love probably need the most love.

100 years from now

So many people have seen this poem, quote, saying and it applies to more than just teachers it applies to parents, Sunday School teachers, Hebrew Teachers, PSR teachers, any other religious teacher, day care teachers, coaches, scout leaders, anyone else that works with children.  It hangs in a prime spot on my Inspiration Wall:

 

One hundred years from now
It won’t matter
What kind of car I drove
What kind of house I lived in
How much money I had in the bank
Nor what my cloths looked like
BUT
The world may be a little better
Because, I was important
In the life of a child.

from “Within My Power” by Forest Whitcraft